Unfinished Business
by: Shannon

Disclaimer: seaQuest and all the characters in it belong to Amblin Entertainment, Universal Television, Sci-fi Channel and anyone else who may be associated with it legally. This work is strictly for entertainment purposes and I’m making no money from it.

Rating: PG-13

Author’s Notes: This story is a sequel to Color Outside The Lines which can be found at Chance's archive, the ELF Command. Thank you to Karel, whose comments on the original provided some of the inspiration for this one. Also to Chance, for all the "hand holding" while I wrote. And a huge thank you to Holly, who beta'd for me. Any comments can be sent directly to me at GreenSprout2000@aol.com.

Dedicated to my wonderful friend, AT Jackson. You will always be remembered in my heart. Thanks for brightening up my life.

Unfinished Business

Lucas Wolenczak idly chewed on his pencil as he considered how to word the next section. He had been working on the report since the late morning, trying to make sure he had everything properly documented. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have worried so much, but the doctor was putting all of this data together for a presentation to the UEO Science and Technology Committee in hopes of getting more grant money. Lucas wanted to do the best job possible, which meant he spent a lot of time writing and rewriting.

"Lucas, maybe you should take a break," Doctor Kristin Westphalen suggested. She had just realized that she hadn't seen him leave the lab since his arrival that morning and it was now late afternoon. The doctor fully intended to make him stop for a little while, she was just trying to be polite about it.

"I'm almost done."

Kristin crossed her arms and gave him her patented 'I've-heard-that-one-before' look. "You didn't eat lunch, did you?" It was more of a statement than a question and Lucas knew better than to answer her. "What am I going to do with you?" Kristin shook her head. She felt guilty for not having kept a better eye on him; she knew about his tendency to shut everything out when he got involved in any kind of project. "It's time for dinner."

"I just wanted to finish…" Lucas let his voice trail off; the doctor was already shaking her head.

"It will be here after you eat," Kristin told him. "Save your work and let's go."

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly. He did not like the implication that she was going to join him. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with the doctor; he did, but he knew she would analyze everything on his tray for nutritional content.

Since it was earlier than when most of the crew ate, Mess was pretty empty. Lucas had made it through the line without Westphalen giving him a hard time about his selections and, for that, he was grateful. He even made a concession and took water to drink, instead of his usual soda.

"It's not a specimen for dissection," Kristin pointed out, when Lucas sat staring at his food for several moments.

"Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking."

"Try eating while you do it," Kristin advised tartly. "You can't go around skipping meals."

"I got busy and forgot. I don't do it on purpose."

"You'll still make yourself sick if you do it often enough."

Silence seemed like the best response, so Lucas took a mouthful of his macaroni and cheese and concentrated on chewing.

"Hey, Kid, I've been looking for you," Lieutenant Ben Krieg informed Lucas as he sat down with his tray.

"Please join us, Lieutenant," Kristin invited, sarcasm tingeing her voice.

"I've been in the lab," Lucas replied. "Why?"

"You have mail. It's a package. I didn't want to just leave it in your room, so you'll have to get it from my quarters," Ben responded. He had thought about putting in the boy's room, but hadn't done so for two reasons. First, Lucas closely guarded his privacy and Ben felt a little awkward about going into his room when he wasn't there. Second, he was curious about the package and hoped he'd get more information if he delivered it personally.

"You can get it before returning to the lab," Kristin observed. She thought anything that extended the young man's break was good.

"Is that okay?" Lucas asked Ben.

"Of course. I'm headed there afterwards anyway. I have some files to update," Ben answered with a slight grimace. Most of the time he enjoyed being the supply and morale officer, but when it came to doing the paperwork, he procrastinated until the last moment.

"Were you expecting a package?" Kristin inquired.

"No. I don't know who it's from." Lucas had been trying to figure it out. His parents, when they decided to get in touch, called or sent e-mail. The few friends he had off seaQuest wouldn't send anything without letting him know beforehand.

"Last name on it is 'Jameson'," Ben filled in. He had looked to see if maybe it was from one of Lucas' parents.

It took great effort for Lucas not to react to the name with more than a shrug of his shoulders. Part of him wanted to insist they go get the package now; the other part wanted to let Ben keep it forever. "You mean, you didn't memorize the first name and return address?" Lucas teased Ben. Some sort of response was required and he didn't want to discuss whom it was from. It seemed easier to give Ben a hard time and pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I don't know why I remembered the name," Ben defended himself. "I just glanced at it." He had done more than give it a quick look, but he wasn't going to admit to it. Ben could count on one hand the number of times Lucas had received mail and he couldn't restrain his inquisitive nature; at least that's what he told himself.

The doctor found Lucas' reaction interesting. She knew, if it had been her, she would have been more enthusiastic about getting a package, even one of unknown origin. "I hope it's not another one of your video games," she remarked.

"I don't usually order those through the mail," Lucas told her.

"I don't think I want to hear any more," Kristin interjected. She figured she was better off not knowing precisely how he acquired the numerous games that he played.

"Okay." Lucas decided not to ease the doctor's mind by explaining that he tested games for a couple of software companies, which was how he had created his rather large collection.

"Mind if I join you?" Captain Nathan Bridger asked as he approached the table.

"Of course not," Kristin assured him.

"I'm still waiting for your reports, Lieutenant," Nathan reminded Ben.

"I'll get them finished as soon as I'm done eating, Sir," Ben responded.

The captain had enough sense not to ask if he had started them yet; he already knew the answer. "I haven't seen you all day," he commented to Lucas.

"I've been in the labs."

"How is that coming?"

"We've made a lot of progress," Kristin answered when Lucas didn't. "It'll be done before the deadline."

"Good. They tend to look more kindly upon things that are completed on time."

"Listen, I'm done," Ben announced rather abruptly. "You want to come get that package now?" he asked Lucas.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll see you back in the lab," Lucas said to Westphalen.

Kristin nodded. "Take your time."

"I didn't mean to chase away your dinner companions," Nathan told Kristin with a wry smile. Even though Ben had moved first, he was willing to bet Lucas had initiated their departure.

"Something going on between you and Lucas?" Kristin asked. This was not the first time since the crew returned from shore leave that Lucas had left when Nathan appeared. It had happened too often to pass off as coincidence.

"He hasn't let me know yet," Nathan replied dryly. He knew what had triggered the young man's sudden avoidance of him, but he didn’t fully understand why.

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"Not yet. I haven't been able to catch him alone and if I make him come see me, he'll get defensive."

"He'll get defensive no matter how you try," Kristin observed. "Maybe this package will cheer him up," she added.

"What's going on?" Ben asked Lucas as they walked to the lieutenant's quarters.

"I'm getting my package."

"And that's why you kicked me under the table three times?" Ben shook his head. "It had nothing to do with the captain's sudden appearance, right?" He had first noticed Lucas acting awkward around Bridger when they were in the shuttle coming back from leave. His first thought had been they had disagreed about one of Lucas' vacation activities or something like that; Bridger kept a pretty close eye on what the teen did, especially when they were off seaQuest. He wasn't so sure now, Lucas got over things quickly. The boy was usually first with the apology or whatever was needed to make amends.

"You said you were leaving first," Lucas pointed out.

"I can usually take a hint," Ben commented dryly. He decided not to tell Lucas that if he had figured out something was going on, the captain certainly had. Bridger was perceptive when it came to the crew and their behavior. The man noticed when anyone acted out of character and stepped in when it went on too long.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Lucas. Nothing at all," Ben said, opening his door. "There you are," he added, pointing to the box as they stepped inside.

E.L. Jameson, Lucas read to himself. He wondered what Emma was sending him and why. Then he noticed the handwriting of his address was not Emma's. "I'll just take it back to my room," Lucas mumbled.

"Do you need help?" Ben inquired. It was an odd size and he wasn't sure if the teenager would be able to manage it on his own.

"I've got it. It's not heavy."

"Okay. I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Thanks Ben."

"Any time, Kid," Ben assured him, knowing Lucas meant it for more than delivering the package. He was disappointed Lucas hadn't given away anything about the box; he had hoped to learn more about it.

In his room, Lucas set the box down on his bunk and stared at it for several long minutes. With a faint sigh, he turned and headed back to the science labs to finish up his report. He was not ready to deal with the package just yet. Later, when he was done for the day, he would investigate why he had a box from Emma, addressed to him in Aaron's handwriting.

"You didn't have to hurry back," Kristin told the boy, who was already working when she returned.

"I wanted to get this done," Lucas answered. He wanted the comforting routine of work; it would keep his mind off of other subjects.

"Then I won't keep you," Kristin said quietly. The teenager was sending off very clear signals that he didn't want company and she wasn't going to force the issue. "Make sure you take a break later," she admonished.

"I will." Lucas didn't know if he would or not; it depended on whether or not he remembered, but he didn't think it was the right answer to give the doctor.

"I'll be in my office if you need me," Kristin added, hoping he might take her up on the unspoken offer to talk later. When she had first met Lucas and he had been so full of questions about the labs and the work they'd be doing, Kristin had feared he was going to be one of those teenagers who talked incessantly on any topic. She often wished she'd been right about that assessment. At least then, she'd know what was bothering him and able to help him, but there were very few people as closemouthed as Lucas on seaQuest. Luckily, the person who matched the boy in reticence also took a decided interest in Lucas' well being. Kristin felt confident that Nathan would figure out how to help the young man before too much time passed.

Three hours later, Lucas sat reviewing what he had written, checking for any obvious errors and ways to make his report more concise. He wanted this to be perfect, or as close to it as possible, since he knew that the doctor could really use the grant money. If he was honest, he was procrastinating. As soon as he gave Westphalen the report, he no longer had any reason not to return to his quarters and deal with the package. Lucas wanted to delay that as long as possible. Finally, he had no choice; the words were starting to blur on the screen and the teenager knew it was time to call it a night.

"Finished?" Kristin asked when Lucas appeared in her doorway.

"Yes. Is there anything else I can do?" Lucas figured it didn't hurt to offer. He was interested in helping her if he could and it would keep him busy.

"Not right now. I might need you to correlate some data for me in the morning though."

"I'll check in with you tomorrow."

"Lucas, is everything all right?" Kristin inquired. While she didn't expect him to answer, she had decided it was better to make the offer than say nothing at all.

"Yeah." Lucas liked the doctor and he trusted her, but the box and its contents were more than he was ready to share at the moment. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't stay up all night playing on the computer," she admonished gently.

"I won't," he assured her as he turned to leave.

Remembering an earlier promise to visit Darwin, Lucas headed to Sea Deck to find the dolphin. It sounded like a much better idea than going to his room. "Hey, Darwin."

"Lucas play?" Darwin inquired hopefully, while splashing the teen with water.

"Not today," Lucas responded jumping back as the dolphin sent another spray of water in his direction.

"Lucas sad."

Looking around, Lucas was grateful no one else was there to hear the dolphin's comments. Darwin always seemed to know his moods, even when he didn't say much. The logical part of Lucas was always trying to figure out how Darwin could tell; the more emotional part of the boy found it comforting and didn't need it explained. "Not exactly," he told the dolphin. Lucas didn't know what he was feeling and he didn't want to explore it too much at the moment.

"Lucas talk?" Darwin asked.

"Not today," Lucas answered. When he had something on his mind, Lucas often talked to Darwin. Even though the vocorder frequently couldn't translate his words or Darwin's responses, Lucas found it relaxing to talk to the dolphin. Darwin rarely asked questions he didn't want to answer and, if he did, he didn't notice when Lucas ignored them.

"Lucas no fun," Darwin announced, splashing him again.

"Thanks, Darwin."

"Bridger swim?"

"In a little bit," Nathan replied. "Hello, Lucas."

"Uh, hi, Captain," Lucas responded nervously. He wondered how long the captain had been there and what he had heard. Not that he had said very much, but he had noticed Bridger had an ability to read more into a few casual sentences than most. Lucas found it rather unnerving when the captain directed it at him.

"You're welcome to join us," Nathan invited, nodding in the direction of the water.

"Uh, no thanks. I just stopped by to say hi to Darwin."

"I take it you finished your work with Doctor Westphalen?"

"Yes. She said she didn't need any more help," Lucas replied.

"She mentioned you'd been putting in a lot of time on it," Nathan commented, not missing the defensive edge to the boy's tone. He had only asked because it seemed like a safe topic of conversation. As much as he wanted to talk to Lucas, he knew this was not the place to do so; it was too public. "I haven't seen you much the past few days," he noted. Nathan figured it didn't hurt to let Lucas know he had noticed the young man's avoidance of him.

"I've been busy with the report and some other programming," Lucas mumbled. "Did you need something?" Lucas hoped not, he didn't want to get involved in a project with Bridger.

"No. It was just an observation. I trust you got your package from Krieg?"

Lucas wished they could go back to the previous subject. "Uh, yeah, I did. I haven't opened it yet," he added quickly, in case the captain decided to ask what he had received.

"From your parents?" Nathan had yet to make up his mind about Lucas' parents and the teen wasn't inclined to say much about them. The few times he'd tried to broach the topic, Nathan had met with a solid wall of resistance. Stray comments indicated that the young man harbored some resentment towards his father for putting him on seaQuest, and Nathan supposed he couldn't blame him for that either.

"It was from,…uh, a, …uh, a friend." While he was speaking, Lucas' eyes darted around the room, never meeting the captain's gaze and he folded his arms protectively across his chest.

The anxiety in his voice caught Nathan off guard, since it was an unusual response. Being on a submarine, he hadn't seen anyone react to mail of any kind with anything except enthusiasm. "Is everything all right?" he inquired, unknowingly echoing the doctor's question.

"Yeah. I, …uh, have to go," Lucas told him.

"Lucas…" Nathan let his voice trail off; he didn't know what to say and he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Yes, Sir?" Lucas swallowed nervously; he really wanted to leave. Now all he wanted to do was get back to his room; at least there he could ignore anyone who stopped by to see him.

"Have a good evening. I'll see you later." Nathan made a mental note to stop by Lucas' room the following day and get the boy to talk to him. It would do no good to try now; he could tell Lucas' barriers were solidly in place.

"Okay," Lucas answered. He didn't give much thought to whether or not that was what the captain had intended to say; he was just glad to be able to leave.

"What am I going to do with him, Darwin?" Nathan asked the dolphin after Lucas left.

"Bridger swim," Darwin answered, spraying water on the captain.

"Good answer," Nathan responded with a laugh.

In his room, Lucas averted his eyes from his bunk and the box, as if it would go away if he ignored it long enough. Sitting down at his computer, the teenager checked his mail, but found no distractions there. It wasn't going to disappear, he decided, nor would his curiosity. He searched his desk for something to open the package, finally finding a knife that would work. Lucas made a mental note to return it to the lab in the morning, since he couldn't remember why he'd borrowed it in the first place.

After carefully unwrapping the box and cutting the tape that held it closed, Lucas sat staring at it for several minutes. Every time he reached out to open it, something stopped him. In the end, curiosity won out; Lucas wanted to know what Emma had sent. He had only met Aaron's wife one time, but he had liked her a lot. After all of Aaron's diatribes against the problems of marrying too young, Lucas had been intrigued to meet the woman who changed his mind. Emma had suited Aaron perfectly. Peering into the box, Lucas felt a sense of relief to see an envelope on top of the packing paper. He couldn't see what lay underneath and that was fine for the time being.

Inside the envelope, was a piece of paper, which Lucas pulled out with great trepidation. Unfolding it, he started to read:

Dear Lucas,

Aaron meant to mail this shortly before he died. He was very excited about it and I know he would still want you to have it. According to him, you're the only one who would know what to do with it. He meant it as a compliment.

Thank you for the letter you sent me. I know Aaron thought so much of you and I appreciate that you took the time to tell me what you thought of him. I understand why you weren't able to make the funeral. I'm sorry I was out of town when you were here, I would have liked to see you. Maybe next time.

Please stay in touch. I know it's hard sometimes after you lose a good friend, but I would like to try.

Emma L. Jameson

With deliberate movements, Lucas refolded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He could only imagine what Aaron might have sent, but he wasn't ready to face the answer yet. The teen pressed the flaps down on the box, allowing the remnants of tape to reseal it. Clearing a spot under his desk, Lucas shoved the package underneath. He knew he was being irrational; it wasn't going to just disappear. Eventually, he would have to look inside and examine the contents, but not tonight. All he wanted to do now was pretend it didn't exist; it seemed much simpler than looking inside.

After hiding the box away, Lucas spent the rest of the evening trying to play computer games, but found that they didn't provide the escape they usually did. He considered going to find out what the others were doing, they usually let him join in; then he remembered Ben knew about the package and was likely to ask about it. If he said he hadn't opened it, there would be questions. Under normal circumstances, Lucas tried to avoid telling his friends too much about himself and this he certainly planned on keeping quiet about.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Lucas went to bed, figuring that if nothing else worked, sleep would. Forcing himself to think about a new program he was working on, Lucas fell asleep, dreaming about the lines of code he would have to produce to make it function properly.

The next morning, Lucas found the doctor in her office and rather upset. "What's going on?" he asked.

"They've decided to change their minds about what they want," Kristin informed him. "They want us to include more information and further justification for the some the proposed projects. And they don't plan on extending the deadline, so it's all due tomorrow." Kristin sighed loudly. She had thought she was ready to finalize her proposal and now this had happened.

"What can I do to help?" Lucas inquired. He knew the grant was important to the doctor and wanted to do anything he could. The teen ignored the small voice in his head pointing out that he was just looking for any excuse not to think about Aaron's package.

"They want further proof that the projects have either never been tried before and would therefore be groundbreaking research or they have been tried before and why our ideas are better."

"If it's never been done before, how are we going to prove it?" Lucas wondered aloud.

"I don't know. We're dealing with a bureaucracy here. I think they just want to see how much we're willing to do to get their funding."

"I can run some searches on the computer and compile all that for you," Lucas offered. It meant working in his room, which had its advantages. Chief among them was the fact that the doctor wouldn't be able to keep such a close eye on his work habits. It also lessened his chances of running into anyone he that didn't want to see.

"That would be very helpful," Kristin told him gratefully. "You can write it all up too?" Kristin hated to ask, knowing that Lucas was likely to work all day on the task, but she needed as much help as she could get.

"No problem."

"Thank you."

"I'll be in my room. It'll be easier to coordinate the searches from there."

"That's fine. Just make sure you eat lunch," Kristin admonished him firmly.

"Don't worry," Lucas said. "I can take care of myself."

Kristin decided not to respond to the remark, figuring he wouldn't appreciate her opinion on the matter. Lucas could take care of himself, except when he got involved in something, and tuned everyone and everything out. "Were you scheduled to be helping anyone else today?" she asked.

"No. It's been pretty quiet. All my current projects can be put on hold for a day or two."

"All right. I'll see you later."

"Okay." Lucas left before the doctor could think of anything else that she wanted to discuss. He considered stopping by to see Darwin, but the dolphin would want to swim and play and he didn't have time for that. Since he hadn't spent a lot of time with Darwin the last couple of days, Lucas promised himself he'd make time later that day or the next one to visit. He considered the dolphin his best friend on seaQuest and he felt bad about neglecting him.

It didn't take Lucas long to immerse himself in the computer searches. If he concentrated on it a little harder than usual, he convinced himself it was out of the desire to do a good job for the doctor. The fact that he kept accidentally kicking the box under his desk had nothing to do with it. Every time it crept into his mind, he shoved it out, not wanting to think about it.

As usual, Lucas let himself become totally absorbed in the project, losing track of the time and forgetting about lunch. Eating didn't occur to him until his stomach growled and he had to do something about it. Unwilling to interrupt his work for the time it would take to go to Mess and eat, Lucas dipped into his stash of junk food. Pulling out a package of peanut butter crackers and a bag of chips, he figured it would be enough to keep him going until dinner. He planned to be finished with this part by then and he'd take a break. Lucas took a moment to take stock of his supplies and realized he would have to talk to Ben before too much longer. The lieutenant provided him with the snacks mainly to insure that Lucas ate something when he was working. Lucas just hoped Ben came up with something better than raisins this time.

It was several hours before Lucas finally turned away from his computer, finally noticing his cramped muscles. He stretched and plotted his strategy for dealing with the doctor. She was bound to ask him about lunch, and dinner, he realized with a grimace. Kristin would kill him if he saw her after skipping two meals in a row. Worse than that, she was likely to insist on escorting him to Mess and watching him eat every mouthful of whatever she picked out for him. He wasn't really hungry, having snacked all afternoon, but suddenly stopping for dinner seemed like a good idea. Lucas knew he didn't have to eat a lot, just make an appearance so if the doctor checked the logs, it would show that he had gone. Like everything else on the sub, or so it seemed, the computer kept track of everyone's dining habits, making sure that no one missed too many meals. Lucas had no doubt Kristin would look.

If he was lucky, he wouldn't see anyone he knew and he could eat and leave. His hopes were quickly dashed, when he met Ben and Lieutenant Tim O'Neill at the door. "Hi," he greeted.

"Hey, Lucas. Where have you been all day?" Ben asked.

"Working. You should try it sometime, Ben," Lucas retorted.

"And make everyone die of shock?" Tim interjected.

"Very funny," Ben told them.

"I guess the talk with the commander didn't go so well this afternoon," Tim confided to Lucas in a loud whisper.

"That would explain a lot," Lucas agreed while Ben pretended to ignore them.

The trio had barely sat down when Ben raised the topic, Lucas had hoped to avoid. "So, Lucas, what was in that package you got?" Ben asked.

"Nothing much," Lucas mumbled. "A friend wanted me to have something," he added vaguely.

"I assume since you're here, it wasn't edible," Ben commented.

Tim thought it was fairly obvious Lucas didn't want to talk about the package, either that or the young man was utterly fascinated with his casserole. "Is it true that they changed some of the requirements for the doctor's grant proposal?" he questioned. He couldn't think of a better subject, but Lucas looked grateful enough for the change of topic.

"Yes. I've been working on it all day."

"She must have been steamed."

"I saw her after she got the news, but she wasn't happy," Lucas confirmed.

"I'd hate to be the one who had to tell her," Ben said. He had been on the receiving end of some of the doctor's more mild lectures and that was enough to tell him he never wanted to be fully on her bad side. "I think I'm going to go check out the desserts," he announced. He really wished people would stop kicking him under the table when they wanted him to leave. The lieutenant hoped Tim planned on explaining himself later.

Tim studied Lucas for several moments, wondering if it was any of his business, and deciding it couldn't hurt. "You had another call from Spencer Harriman," he commented. "He wanted to know if you were getting his messages," he continued.

"I got them," Lucas answered shortly.

"He sounded concerned," Tim observed.

"I'll call him back when I have time." Lucas' tone indicated quite clearly that he didn't intend to do so any time soon.

"I think he'd appreciate it." Tim figured he'd said all he could without going too far. He recognized the closed look on Lucas' face. It appeared whenever a conversation ventured into areas Lucas didn't like and seemed virtually impenetrable. Since he didn't know Harriman and he had to live with Lucas, it seemed wiser not to say any more.

"I have to check in with Kristin," Lucas told him. "I'll see you later."

"Where'd you chase Lucas off to?" Ben questioned when he returned to the table.

"He had to go see the doctor," Tim replied blandly.

"Of course he did," Ben agreed, not bothering to keep the disbelief out of his voice. He thought it was somewhat unfair that people kept kicking him and no one wanted to give him the full story. The lieutenant toyed with the idea of approaching the captain about Lucas, but he didn't want to overstep himself. It could be that Lucas was just going through some teenage phase and everything would straighten itself out in a few days.

Lucas thought it was a stroke of luck that Kristin wasn't in her office when he dropped off the disk. Scribbling her a note, he left it on her desk where she would be sure to find it. Then he headed back to his room, where he had decided he was going to look at the contents of Aaron's package finally. His curiosity was getting the better of him and he couldn't ignore it any longer.

Sitting on the floor with the box, Lucas stared at it for a long time. Ever since Harriman had notified him of Aaron's death, he had tried to push it out of his mind. Even when he had visited the mural, part of him had expected Aaron to show up. Aaron had been the one friend he could always count on, no matter what happened; Lucas had always known Aaron would tell him the truth. Lucas smiled slightly as he thought about all the times Aaron had offered him advice, claiming that his five years seniority made him infinitely older and wiser than Lucas. He almost laughed out loud when he recalled the day Aaron had found his age; Aaron had assumed, because of their situation, that they were the same age. It was a good thing Aaron had already started climbing down the ladder when Lucas had told him; otherwise he would have broken something when he fell.

A knock on the door startled Lucas, causing him to lose his train of thought. Instead of getting up to answer it or calling out, he sat silently, waiting for the person to leave. Now that he had decided to open Aaron's package, he wanted to do it privately, without interruption. When he was certain his visitor had left, Lucas forced himself to open the box.

Underneath the paper was a folded piece of paper with his name on it. Lucas swallowed hard and opened it up. He recognized Aaron's handwriting immediately.

Hey Lucas,

I've done my part. Now it's your turn. Don't give me that look. I held up my end of the bargain and I'm not letting you off the hook. I'll expect you to bring it with you when you're in town.

Aaron

PS Try to be a little more creative with this one.

Closing his eyes, Lucas knew what he'd find when he pulled out the last item in the box. Trust Aaron to want to hold him to that promise. Sure enough, amid the paper was a half-finished canvas. This time, Aaron had depicted a rain forest on his part. As usual, his friend had filled it with lots of vivid colors, which seem to spring to life. Lucas reached out and traced the images with his fingers; he could almost see Aaron working on it as he stared at the painting.

Suddenly, Lucas felt like room was suffocating him. He just wanted to get out of there, as if leaving the room could stem the tide of emotions that filled him. He needed to get away from the painting and Aaron's presence, which filled his work. Most days he didn't think much about being on a submarine, but times like these, Lucas was very aware of the fact he couldn't go far. Unable to stand the confining space of his room any longer, Lucas jumped up and headed out, not sure where he was going, just knowing he couldn't stay there any more.

Unaware that he had just missed Lucas by about five minutes, Nathan knocked on the door again. He wanted to talk to Lucas and see if he couldn’t get him to open up about why the boy was avoiding him. Bill's call hadn't made him feel any better either; Admiral William Noyce had called on behalf of his friend, Judge Spencer Harriman, because Lucas wasn't returning any of the judge's phone calls and Harriman was a little concerned. Bill had noted rather blandly that Harriman had observed that Lucas had a tendency to repress his feelings a little. Nathan thought that was an understatement if ever he had heard one.

Even though Lucas hadn't answered his earlier knock, Nathan hoped the teenager was inside, since he had tried all of the teen's known hangouts. Times like these he found the knowledge they were on a submarine very comforting; Lucas couldn't exactly leave when he felt like it. However, Nathan had a feeling that if Lucas really wanted to hide the young man could pull it off. After careful consideration, Nathan decided it couldn't hurt to open the door and see if Lucas was just ignoring him. He felt a little uncomfortable doing it, but he was worried about the teenager. The captain did not want to search the sub for him only to discover Lucas had been in his room the entire time. Nathan knew he could just page him; there were very few acceptable excuses for not answering one, but the idea didn't sit well with him. Preparing to be yelled at if Lucas was on the other side of the door, the captain opened it and peered inside, finding it empty.

Lucas supposed he should have known he'd end up with Darwin; he always visited the dolphin when he was upset. He had changed into the wetsuit automatically, not fully realizing what he was doing until he was in the water and Darwin was chattering at him. The dolphin never cared if Lucas had the vocorder on or not; he always talked when people were around, especially Lucas and Bridger.

As usual, Lucas marveled at Darwin's ability to understand his moods; Lucas hadn't come here planning to play with the dolphin, but Darwin had insisted. The teenager found himself gradually relaxing as they played their ever-changing game of ball.

Normally, Nathan would have closed the door and gone on his way, but the sight of the box and crumpled up paper in the middle of the boy's floor was too much for him to leave alone. Hoping he wasn't making a big error in judgment, the captain entered Lucas' quarters.

It took him a moment to spot the unfinished canvas where Lucas had let it drop in his haste to get out of the room. Picking it up, Nathan sighed softly. He knew that it had to be from Lucas' friend, Aaron. Although not an art connoisseur, his visit to the mural had been recent enough to recognize Aaron's style here. Not sure what it meant, it solidified his desire to find Lucas. Nathan remembered what it had been like for him when he had unexpectedly run across items of Carol's and Robert's; even now it still caught him off guard. He knew this must have thrown Lucas for a loop, especially since Nathan was starting to think, despite appearances to the contrary, that Lucas had not dealt with his friend's death. It was one thing to visit a mural and remember, and another to really accept it.

A glimpse of something caused Nathan to glance up and see Darwin swimming by, chasing after a ball, which meant only one thing; he was playing a game with Lucas, since the teenager was the only one who used that particular ball. It made him pause for a moment to consider if Darwin's sudden appearance had been coincidence or by design. The dolphin had taken to Lucas immediately and seemed to understand him when others didn't. The young man talked to Darwin more than anyone else on seaQuest. More than once, Nathan had walked in on the two and been left feeling like he had missed something.

"What'd you do? Swim to China for that?" Lucas grumbled a little when Darwin finally tossed the ball at him. He had already climbed out of the water and was sitting on the edge. His energy was rapidly waning, as was his enthusiasm for the game. The initial burst of energy that had propelled him into the pool had faded, although he did feel a little better. The thought of going back to his room filled him with dread, even though he knew he couldn't avoid it forever.

"Working with Darwin?" Ben asked from behind him. He hadn't intended to sneak up on him, but from the way Lucas jumped, he guessed he had.

"No. Just playing," Lucas replied. He wished he had heard Ben's arrival. It would have given him more time to think of a good answer.

"Nothing wrong with that. Listen, I got some new videos in, want to come see them?" Ben invited. The lieutenant had been on his way to see if Tim, Miguel and some of the others were interested in checking out the latest additions to his personal stash, but if Lucas wanted to come, he could change the viewing order. While everyone teased him about being a bad influence on the young man, Ben did try to exercise common sense when he was with Lucas.

"No. I have some programming I need to finish for the commander," Lucas replied quickly.

"Okay." Ben had already figured out that whenever Lucas said he had programming for the commander that it meant Lucas wasn't up to company. Either that or Ford piled a lot of work on the boy and Ben doubted that was the case.

"I have to go," Lucas added, afraid if he stayed around too long, Ben would ask him what he was working on. He did have some projects he needed to finish, but knew that none of them were going to get done tonight. It looked like he was going to have to face his room sooner than he expected.

"I'll see you later," Ben said. He watched Lucas leave and hoped the captain got things sorted out with the boy soon. Ben had no doubts that Bridger would take care of the problem, whatever it might be; he wasn't the kind of man to ignore a situation.

Lucas almost groaned aloud when he saw the captain approaching him in the corridor. Bridger had to be the last person he wanted to see right now.

Since he had been on his way to find the teenager, Nathan was pleasantly surprised to see Lucas headed in his direction. He ignored the pained look on Lucas' face that indicated the feeling was not mutual. "I was looking for you," he informed the young man.

"Well, you found me. What did you need?" Lucas hoped it was a simple request that he could deal with quickly and be on his way. As much as he had wanted to avoid his room, it was fast becoming an oasis from where he could hide from the rest of the world.

"I wanted to talk," Nathan answered. His eyes caught the look that crossed Lucas' face before the boy could stop it. It telegraphed Lucas' thoughts on the matter quite clearly; the teen's eyes were already darting around, as if looking for a means of escape.

"About?" Lucas inquired, reluctantly. Not that it mattered, he didn't plan on having any kind of conversation with the captain tonight. He just had to humor him until he thought of a good excuse to get back to his room.

Nathan had no intentions of starting the discussion in the corridor; Lucas would never tell him anything. "Why don't we go somewhere private?" he suggested.

"Now?"

"How about your quarters?" Nathan continued as if Lucas had not spoken.

"Can't this wait?" The teen knew he was treading on dangerous ground; one didn't usually question the captain about the need for a meeting, but he was desperate. Lucas didn't want to let Bridger in his quarters because he'd have to explain the painting.

"Why should it? We're both here." Nathan watched as Lucas crossed his arms and wondered what excuse he'd come up with now.

"I'm busy," Lucas mumbled. It was the best he could come up with on short notice and judging from the look on Bridger's face, it wasn't going to work.

"Not too busy to swim with Darwin," Nathan noted patiently. "Your hair's still wet," he added when Lucas gave him a surprised look.

"I haven't spent much time with him lately."

"He's seen more of you than I have," Nathan countered.

This was not going like it should, Lucas realized. "Why does it have to be now?"

"I'm starting to think that you're avoiding me."

"It's not that, it's just…"

"Just what?"

Lucas decided that his luck could not get any worse. Coming down the hall, towards them, was Kristin, presenting him with a dilemma. He did not want to talk to Bridger about anything but he also didn't want to explain any of this to Kristin. He did not need her getting involved; then he'd end up being outflanked by both. It meant he had no alternative but to agree to Bridger's request. "Fine," he said with as little grace as possible. Just because he had to do this, didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

The boy's sudden change of heart puzzled Nathan, until he, too, spotted Kristin. The fates must be operating in his favor, he decided. "Thank you," he responded quietly. He could tell Lucas was not pleased with the situation, but he didn't care, anything that got them started was a blessing in his book.

For a brief moment, Lucas had forgotten why he didn't want to return to his room, so he was momentarily stunned when he saw the box and its contents still sitting on the floor.

However it was too late to do anything about it, Bridger had already stepped inside and seen the mess. The unfinished canvas sat out in plain sight, there was no way for him to miss it. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, trying to forestall any mention of Aaron's painting.

The captain ignored him and walked over to the half-finished picture. Nathan breathed a sigh of relief; he had been trying to think of a way to bring it up without mentioning he had entered Lucas' room earlier. Generally, he would have been up front about the intrusion, but he knew Lucas would use it as a reason to shut him out. Nathan didn't like being deceitful, but he did feel that the ends justified the means in this case and he didn't plan on making it a regular policy. "This from your friend?" he inquired, picking up the painting.

"Yes." Lucas sat down on his bunk and stared straight ahead, not wanting to look at it again.

"Why didn't he finish it?" Nathan questioned. Since he had seen the mural, he thought he knew the answer, but he hoped it would get Lucas to talk. He sat down next to Lucas, still holding the picture.

The teenager responded by stiffening up and crossing his arms. Lucas wondered why Bridger wouldn't take the hint and drop the subject. Couldn't the man see that he didn't want to talk about it? Maybe if he ignored him, Bridger would get tired and give up on the subject.

"Are you supposed to finish it?"

"What's it to you?" Lucas did not try to keep the hostility out of his voice. So much for ignoring him, he realized.

"I'm more interested in what it means to you," Nathan told him. It wasn't the greatest beginning, but it was a start. "I think it would help to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about."

He should have expected that response, Nathan decided. He watched as Lucas jumped up and started gathering the wrapping paper and stuffing it back in the box. "Lucas, it isn't going to go away just because you don't want to deal with it," he remarked.

The teen continued straightening up the mess, unwilling to acknowledge Bridger's last statement. He didn't want to talk about this now, the captain couldn't possibly understand how he felt when he opened that box and realized it was the last thing Aaron would ever send him.

"I know it has to hurt, getting this from Aaron now," Nathan said quietly.

The sadness in Bridger's voice reminded Lucas that the captain did understand.

However, it didn't make him want to talk; he didn't want to share this with Bridger. The mere thought of knowing something deeply personal about Bridger scared him, because it implied they had a relationship, a friendship even and, up to this point, he had carefully avoided admitting that he wanted one.

Well, he wasn't going to get Lucas to trust him, if he didn't trust him first, Nathan thought. "After Robert went missing, Carol and I received an anniversary gift he had mailed the day before he disappeared," Nathan told him. "We didn't open it for two weeks, it was just to painful to look at. We kept telling ourselves we were waiting for him to come home so we could share it with him, but we didn't want to open because we were afraid it'd be our last thing we'd get from him. We were trying to hang on to him by leaving it untouched, as if it would prolong his presence somehow." Nathan studied Lucas, trying to tell if his words had the desired effect on the young man. There had been some impact, he could tell by the way Lucas had stopped moving and the rigid set of his shoulders. None of this told him if the reaction was positive or negative if he had gained any ground, just that Lucas was listening to what he had to say.

Lucas turned to glare at him, prepared to tell Bridger to go away and leave him alone. He didn't want to hear this; he didn't want the captain's sympathy. It didn't matter that to send Bridger away now would be cruel; he just wanted the other man gone. Before he could open his mouth, almost against his will, his eyes fell on the painting. Everything stood still as Lucas was hit by the cascade of emotions he had been trying to suppress since hearing about Aaron.

It wasn't fair, he thought angrily. He had worked so hard to keep things under control and deal with this on his own. What right did Bridger have to come in and ruin all his carefully constructed barriers? He opened his mouth, wanting to tell the captain to go, but he couldn't. Aaron's picture stared back at him, and all he could think of was how disappointed his friend would be in him if he did this. Lucas closed his eyes and wondered why this was happening.

Setting the canvas down, Nathan stood up and hugged Lucas. "I know it hurts, kiddo," he whispered. He knew he was taking a chance; generally, Lucas shied away from physical contact of any kind, but Nathan believed that some times words weren't enough. He hoped it would be enough to get Lucas to let go of his tightly held emotions, even just a little.

Trying to pull away, Lucas found that he couldn't; the captain simply held him tighter. This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid, Lucas thought as he felt the wetness on his cheeks. He didn't like crying and certainly not in front of anyone else; this wasn't supposed to be happening.

The tears stopped almost as quickly as they started and Nathan wondered at the boy's control; it seemed almost unnatural. He let Lucas step away, understanding the teen needed the space.

Lucas sat on the bunk, once again studiously avoiding eye contact with the captain. He couldn't believe he had just cried all over Bridger; he could think of few things more embarrassing. The young man picked up Aaron's painting and stared at it, trying to shut out the captain's presence, but unable to do so, especially when Bridger sat down next to him.

"Why did he send this to you?" Nathan asked, trying to get Lucas to talk to him. It didn't take a genius to figure out Lucas wouldn't want to discuss what had just happened.

"We made a deal," Lucas answered. He fell silent for several minutes, recalling that conversation. "A few months after we did the mural, Aaron got the bright idea that we should do the same thing on a smaller scale." Lucas flexed his fingers unconsciously as he spoke, choosing his words carefully, not wanting to give away too much. There were a few things he was entitled to keep to himself.

"And?" Nathan prompted, watching him. Although Lucas had not fully relaxed, he was tensing up again. Obviously this was stirring up some unpleasant memories.

"He was working with a gallery to start his career and wanted to display our effort along with his other work. I told him there was no way the thing would ever sell. Not in a million years. He said not only would it sell, but also they'd get an outrageous price on it. He said if it sold, then I had to promise to do another one with him. I thought he had forgotten. I should have known better. He got it ready to mail, so his wife sent it to me."

"The painting sold then?" Nathan guessed.

"Yes. The proceeds went to charity," Lucas added, in case Bridger thought Aaron had tried to make money off their joint effort.

"Are you going to finish it?"

"What's the point? Aaron's dead," Lucas stated harshly.

"His memory isn't. It might be a good way for you to remember him," Nathan suggested.

"I don’t need a way to remember him."

"It's not going to go away because you want it to. Aaron spent time creating his part; he wanted you to finish it for him."

"He's not here."

"I know." Nathan slid an arm around the boy's shoulders, silently willing him to let go. "Leaving it blank isn't going to change that, kiddo."

"I'm not ready," Lucas admitted softly. "I look at it and he's still alive. I feel like I should be able to call him and I can't."

"It's okay." Nathan pulled Lucas into another hug, wanting to comfort the teen and wishing he could do more. "You don't have to do anything right now, kiddo. Just don't rule out the possibility because you're hurting now."

This time, Lucas didn't pull out of the embrace; he let himself accept what was being offered without trying to analyze the motives behind it. He was too tired to do much of anything else. After a while, he pulled away, feeling better than he had in days and also incredibly awkward.

Nathan waited for Lucas to speak, wanting to let the young man set the tone. He knew Lucas was going to feel vulnerable, having let down his guard like this and he didn't want to lose the progress they had made.

"Uh, thank you. I think, …uh, I think I'd like to be alone now."

"Lucas, it's okay to lean on your friends when you're going through a rough time." Nathan knew Lucas hadn't told any of the others about Aaron, just as he knew they'd be supportive of him if he did.

"Yes, Sir," Lucas responded, staring at Bridger's feet. He couldn't bring himself to look the captain in the eye, in case he saw something there he didn't like.

"Lucas." Nathan waited for Lucas to lift his head and meet his gaze. "My door is always open if you need to talk. It doesn't matter what it is. Okay?"

"Yeah."

It wasn't much of a response, but it was something, Nathan decided. "I'll see you later."

Lucas nodded and walked him to the door. "Good night, Sir."

"Good night, kiddo."

On the other side of the door, Nathan realized he hadn't brought up Harriman's phone calls and the fact Lucas hadn't returned any of them. He didn't think now was the time to do so either. At least he could call Bill and tell him that Lucas was starting to work through this; it wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. Nathan considered calling the judge himself; he was curious about the man, but he couldn't justify invading Lucas' privacy to that degree. He had already done enough of that in one night. Nathan hoped that their talk had been enough to get Lucas through the worst of losing his friend. Halfway through, he had realized that there was a very real possibility that this was the first time Lucas had to deal with the death of someone close. It had given him pause, making him doubt whether or not he was handling the situation correctly. However, there was no one else to take care of it; Lucas would have closed up in a heartbeat if he had suggested talking to someone else. He had done his best and just had to hope it had been enough.

After the captain left, Lucas carefully wrapped the unfinished canvas in some of the paper from the box and placed it in his closet where he wouldn't have to look at it for a while. Stretching out on his bunk, he thought about his conversation with the captain. He wondered how the other man always knew what to say; Bridger always seemed so confident that he was doing the right thing. Lucas had felt like Bridger really understood and sympathized with him, even though the captain hadn't known Aaron.

As his thoughts turned to Aaron, Lucas allowed himself to really remember his friend and this time didn't try to stop the tears that started falling. Before he fell asleep, Lucas knew he'd finish his side of the painting; he just didn't know when. He'd have to talk to Ben first and see about getting some supplies, as well as figure out where he was going to work.

Epilogue

Entering the Sea Deck area for a late evening swim with Darwin, Nathan was surprised to see Tim and Ben there, their back to him, obviously caught up in something. Curious, he walked over to see what had their interest. He cleared his throat, causing both men to turn and reveal Lucas sitting in front of an easel.

"Ben got the wrong kind of paints, there wasn't enough air circulation in my room," Lucas explained nervously. He had purposely come at this time of day to avoid a crowd, only to have his hopes dashed by the arrival of Tim and Ben. He should have known Ben would find him; the man had been dying of curiosity since Lucas had requested the art supplies.

Nathan shot a look at his supply officer, who flushed and looked down at the floor. "Maybe next time you can go with him then," Nathan commented.

The two lieutenants looked from Lucas to Bridger and realized they were missing something here. "We didn't know he was artistic," Tim observed.

"I'm not," Lucas told him. "Anyone can fill in the blanks," he added.

"What are you doing?" Nathan inquired, curious to see what the boy would pair with a rain forest.

"A scene from an African safari," Lucas replied.

"Interesting choice."

"It works," Lucas responded.

"Maybe you can stop by later and show me the finished product," Nathan said.

"Maybe," Lucas agreed.

copyright: Shannon Hoffman, 2000

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